I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
