Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
