The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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