when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
