Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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