Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
