I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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