My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
