Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
