Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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