I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just found a bag of teeth...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
