pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
