i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
