she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
