so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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