): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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