Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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