please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
even my farts smell like vagina
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
