my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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