watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
