well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
how drunk are you?
Several
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
