i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
