So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
