I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
