so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
