I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
