if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
