As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
