What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
