Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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