Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
