he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
