I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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