I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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