Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
