Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
