I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
