that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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