There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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