My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
