it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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