So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I had to cum in my sink.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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