there's paper in my vomit.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
