Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I bet he comes in French.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
