Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
soo... how was my night?
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