I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
