Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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