I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
