I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
