Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
