I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
