no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
