He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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