I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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