Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
