this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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