The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
