I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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